🐠 My top 5 steps for grinding even harder (#3 is NSFW)

Today, I’m taking a moment (you’re welcome) to share my algorithm with you (minus the front-clasp content). These are the stories, tools, and d*ldos that made it inside of me this week.

Any attempt to forward this email to a friend or foreign dignitary will result in an assassination attempt (botched).

Yours in net girth,

— The Busty Weathergirl🫃

P.S. - Now that I’ve become "LinkedIn’s" greatest thought leader, I’ve been offered the CEO’s job (I turned it down but accepted the perks package). But now, I’m #Hiring…

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A nephew of mine recently shared some (unregulated) thoughts on the keys to focusing on the important things in life (grinding, uncles, Mongolian futures, clarity, etc.).

The concept is this (I can’t read articles, only AI summaries): “Decluttering” your life and work makes more space for “meaningful work.”

In other words (longer than letters): Ignore everything and focus only on grindset.

When you eliminate the “clutter” of your world (hobbies, children, travel, grandparents, etc.), you can grind harder for longer to increase your shrimp futures.

(I said it first.)

These are the 5 steps for “decluttering” your work life:

But to take things “too far” (per the judge in my 2006 settlement), I’m going to teach you in today’s masterclass course mastermind grind simulation how you can “de-edge” your grindset:

If you only remember one thing (decluttering), make it this:

You can affect your average girth and refractory period by focusing on work.

De-nutter your life with a clearer post-nut decision-making matrix.

Few will. De-nut again. Now.

Welcome to my Write Me Again Answer-Fiesta® Q&A Mailbag sponsored by Big Parma (delicious, but at what cost?).

Allow me to make you the legal equivalent of one shrimp farm smarter today while I answer your most closeted edging questions.

(Reminder: all question-askers are now legally obligated to wire me their annual salary for my time.)

But first… last week, I asked, "Would you share your uncles with your fellow nephews?”

30% of you nephews said: “Yes, always help a nephew in need, they may be your landlord one day.” Don’t worry, I strategically removed everyone who disagrees with me (I invented the Soviet model).

A few top comments from the thought leaders who responded:

Now, onto this week’s questions…

Daniel T. asked on LinkedIn:

Hello, grand rare fish collector. I'd like to thank you for sharing your algorithm with me, and I'm striving for more information on how to become a true trillionaire.

Dawson, thank you for the ultimate question (max wealth for less).

I’m going to give you advice that no one else will.

You need to be rudemaxxing your lifestyle.

Reading your message (again) (I can’t read), you are immediately outed as a polite (aka subservient) unpaid intern.

Trillionaire CEOs (I made them that way) are incapable of politeness.

Allow me (you don’t have a choice) to rewrite your question:

“I demand an answer. Read this, then wire me $1 trillion. Respect. Lions are CEOs. You are.”

If I had received that message, I would have instantly recognized a CEO was speaking to me.

And you would be a trillionaire right now.

Rude me again (don’t you dare, I’ll have you taken out if you even try).

I’m welcome. Thanks (me).

Ma H. asked on Instagram:

Hello. I (44M) bought your course for my toddler (2M), but he only demands, “mommy.” Any tips?

Mahmi, thank you for sending me this question (paid), and I have bad news for you.

He’s a late bloomer.

At your daughter’s age, I was the one purchasing courses for my deadbeat (merely a billionaire) father figure (my real father abandoned himself).

I inspired the grindset for all around me. Your daughter needs to lock in as soon as possible.

(Try again by creating a 2nd child if she does not focus by age 3.) (Or attempt a family trip to Mongolia’s mines.)

I don’t want to encourage false hopes here, but I’ll offer one more possibility…

Your child may be pursuing our nation’s greatest renewable resource (breastmilk) and undermining your authority for one of those classic breastmilk MLM schemes.

Few will investigate. Many will be swindled by nipples. Nipple that.

Harold B. asked on Instagram:

How do I make 3 dollars in less than a week?

Dearest nephew Howard, I have 3 words for you.

I feel your pain. (Those weren’t the 3 words.)

Much like my competitors’ children, when your net girth is tied up buried deep inside the tight space of your investments, spare cash can be hard to find.

And herein lies one of the pillars of my concept of Unclenomics (only available in my private wooded community in the wilderness of Colorado).

Back when I was a mere multi-trillionaire, I couldn’t rub two pennies together (my thumb isn’t attached right).

That’s why I embedded myself in my community of uncles, in order to barter shrimp equities and salmon futures for goods and services.

Uncle bartering Unclenomics will make you wealthy.

(Dear readers, if you wish to learn more about Unclenomics, reply to this email with which orifice your thumb most often enters.)

Whitney B. asked on Instagram:

How can I make a living driving on my Harley cleaning the streets of homeless people.

I’m welcome for giving you this advice already, Watney.

I have a 40-step program designed to eliminate homelessness, but much like my nephew Elon Musk, I’m simply too busy.

Please feel free to implement Steps 5-9 of my plan while riding on your (my) Hog.

Remember to repurpose all homeless as employees of your home factory for maximum profits.

Few will home. Then many house.

*Send me your questions on LinkedIn or Instagram to receive a custom answer in next week’s mastermind email (invoice too)*

Since reading again, the average Read That Again subscriber starts a reverse Ponzi scheme (upside down). Your friends deserve to join in (they asked me for it).

Use your custom referral link to invite a fellow girlboss to subscribe to Read That Again. 

Send the poorest person you know your referral link, coerce them into subscribing, and then disable your gag reflex, because you’re about to receive a load of knowledge when you least expect it.

How to take a vacation as a solopreneur

I’m going to shoot you (straight).

Vacations are for the disabled. CEOs can work from anywhere.

If you don’t grind for it, you won’t get it. Got it? (Few will.)

I took a vacation once (no, I didn’t). I lost everything.

This is the only reason to take a vacation. To grind harder by achieving poverty.

Never sleep, work only, grind forever, have no regrets.

What Building a Company Taught Me About Fatherhood

It’s not that you should regret having children (potential).

But children should never teach CEOs.

CEO life should influence children (absent fatherism is medicine).

Achieve at least 12 children, then abandonmaxx.

Only founders understand. Speaking of abandoning children…

I raised 2 successful CEOs and a doctor. Here’s the ‘unpopular’ parenting rule I always used on my kids

2/3 is unacceptable. Having a doctor in the family is embarrassing.

Every child is destined to be a CEO, unless they are captured by the enemy.

Grindset is taught. Parent them again (or don’t, both work).

Read this again: Dress for the (blow)job you want, not the (hand)job you have.

I’ve prepared an outrageous selection of high-fashion, hand-tailored outerwear stitched for you by my personal collection of Malaysian child laborers.

Go out into the world and begin adding to your net worth. As Jerry Jones once detailed in my autobiography:

That said…

Tell my assistant’s data scientist what you think: